Benjamin Porter

Amazing Grace

I would like to tell the story about how God has completely transformed my life from being lost in the sins of this world to finding the Light of this world, Jesus Christ.

As a child I grew up with loving parents in a Christian home but I never really grasped the concept of the love of Jesus Christ. At about the age of twelve I became rebellious and stopped going to church. I started smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol every chance I had. This began a long and agonizing journey into addiction. By the time I was fifteen years old, I was addicted to cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana. This didn't ruin my life at that particular time; it became a part of my life, a part of who I was, and those who knew me, knew exactly who I was.

My parents began to figure out what was going on and did everything in their power to stop me from behaving this way, but were completely unsuccessful. The more they tried to stop me, the more I would rebel. I was going to do things my way and my way only. I remember running away from home many times. I made my parents feel like it was their fault that I was the way I was.
I wrongly blamed them for everything.

When I turned nineteen, my parents helped me get into a house. I got a job framing houses and let my girlfriend move in with me. We shared the same addictions aside from drinking alcohol. As a matter of fact, even she tried to get me to stop drinking numerous times but, because of my rebellious nature, I refused. Drinking alcohol would turn me into a different person that no one would want to be around. After being together for eleven years she finally left me, and I don't blame her. My alcoholism made me unbearable to live with. I did not want to end up that way, but I had let sin take over my life. Romans 7:19 says, "...for the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice."

In November of 2005, I found myself pretty much at the end of my rope. I was in a serious state of depression after losing the only person I loved more than life itself. What used to be a regular habit of smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol turned into an addiction to crack cocaine and heroin. I tried everything I could get my hands on in order to forget my miserable life. I was down to 140 pounds at 5'11", and had lost touch with reality. I went weeks without sleeping or eating, and when I did finally fall asleep it wasn't by choice. I had gotten to the point where I didn't want to live to see another day.

One night I had become so fed up with my life that I cried out to God for the first time in fifteen years. And I begged Him to save me from the hell I was in.

The next day I blacked our in a car I had borrowed from a friend. I'm not so sure whether I was dead or just unconscious but somehow while I was out, I managed to drive myself two and a half miles to the other end of town and I pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot, the only place in town that was open at three in the morning. Someone who was leaving saw me unconscious in the car and called 911. When I woke up, the police had me surrounded. They informed me that the vehicle I was in had been reported as stolen over three months ago. They took me to jail for grand theft auto, possession of crack and possession of paraphernalia. Within four hours, I bailed myself out of jail and went right back to my mess.

Two days later, I was pulled over on a motorcycle and after being searched, they found crack cocaine in my possession. I ran from them on foot and, within 45 minutes, the K-9 dogs had apprehended me. I received multiple puncture wounds and was charged with possession of crack cocaine, paraphernalia and resisting arrest. Within four hours, I bailed myself out of jail again, and again I returned to my mess. "Just as a dog returns to his vomit, so does a fool return to his folly".

Two days later I was again arrested in a sting operation for selling a half an ounce of cocaine to an undercover police officer. This time I was charged with sales and distribution, possession of cocaine and possession of a firearm during a felony. This time I went to jail with no bond. A few days later, I was taken down from my cell and was booked again on two other sales and distribution charges to a confidential informant. This had happened prior to my first arrest. Altogether, I was looking at fourteen felonies on five separate cases, which I had accumulated in one week. Now I was facing twenty to thirty years in prison.

After a couple of weeks of detoxification, I decided to pick up the Bible and I read the book of Psalms. Psalms 34:6 says, "This poor man cried out and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all of his troubles." It was at this time that it dawned on me that I had prayed for this and that God had answered my prayer. I finally admitted that I had a problem and I needed help. I called my mother from jail and for the first time in my life I admitted to her that I was addicted to drugs and that I needed help. Her response was, "Ben, you don't need my help; you need Jesus." She said, "Ben, its coming up on Christmas. Why don't you read the four gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. They will tell you the story about the life, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ."

This time I picked up the Bible and read the entire New Testament in a period of two weeks. I was hungry for the Word and I would read the Bible all day long. I turned my life over to the Lord Jesus Christ on the floor of my jail cell. On that jail cell floor I cried out to Jesus over and over again and I promised Him if He could give me back my freedom, I would serve Him for the rest of my life. After I had been in jail for a little over a month, my parents noticed a significant change that had taken place in my life. After a lot of prayer, they decided to hire an attorney and bailed me out of jail with the agreement that I would enter myself into a program and make a commitment to getting help.

After being in the program for about five months, I went to court to stand before the judge on behalf of the charges I was facing. The judge and my attorney both noticed a major change, not only my appearance, but also in my personality. They dropped my possession of a firearm charge, my grand theft auto charge and one of my sales charges. I was still charged with eleven felonies but, by the grace of God, was only given one year under community control and two years of drug offender probation.

Jesus answered my prayer and not only gave me freedom from a life of incarceration, but He also freed me from depression and the bondage of addiction. He released me from all of the strongholds that Satan had on me. I was given a clean bill of health and He gave me the opportunity to start a new life with Him as my Guide. I have learned that in order to start a new life, you must let go of everything in you past. Just like the disciples did, they dropped everything and followed Him. Now the future looks so much brighter every day.

God not only answered my prayer but He also answered they prayers of all of my family members who never gave up on me, and never stopped loving me. I praise the Lord every day that they are even capable of forgiving me. The Ben Porter they once knew is dead. I am now a new creation through Christ Jesus. I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see. Now that's what I call AMAZING GRACE!

God bless you!